Long Live the Bat Flip

A couple of days ago Jose Bautista had one of the more epic bat flips in baseball history after he blasted a go ahead home-run that lifted the Toronto Blue Jays into the American League Championship Series for the first time in 22 years. This seemingly harmless act predictably resulted in “baseball people” getting their collective panties in a wad because that bat flip violated the ridiculous unwritten rules of the game.

Behold Bautista’s crime against humanity.

Texas Rangers relief pitcher Sam Dyson is the guy who served up Bautista’s blast and he wasn’t too thrilled with the subsequent celebration.”He’s doing stuff that kids do in whiffle ball games and backyard baseball,” Dyson said. “It shouldn’t be done.”

Cry me a river. If you don’t want someone flipping the bat and “showing you up” then don’t let the guy annihilate one of your pitches into outer space.

There are a handful of baseball players and cranky columnists that would have you believe that flipping a bat is only slightly more acceptable than attempted murder and must be permanently eliminated. I guess they don’t want players – or fans – to have too much fun. They want baseball to remain boring. This ridiculous controversy inevitably leads to discussion of the aforementioned “unwritten rules,” respect for the game, and – most hilariously – setting an example for our children.

Yes. Sam Dyson cares about the kids. This is something he actually said after the game. “[Jose Bautista] is a huge role model for the younger generation that is coming up playing this game.” Is this guy serious? I hope I have a son who slugs a home run in Little League one day. Then I hope he pulls this move while the pitcher is on the mound crying…

Now that’s a bat flip!

The increase in the bat flipping phenomenon is commonly attributed to the influx of Asian and Latin American players. For the purposes of this article, I’m going to choose to ignore the racist undertones of white sportswriters blaming foreign players for not respecting the game and pay some homage to Bret Boone. The Caucasian King of Bat Flipping.

It appears that a white guy was disrespecting the game more than a decade ago and it was as awesome then as it is now. Unfortunately for baseball’s print media, we can’t blame all this bat flipping hysteria on Asians and Latinos.

Way back in 2002, Boone flipped his bat after hitting a homer against the Colorado Rockies. A few innings later Rockies reliever Todd Jones beaned him in the head. Yeah. That certainly seems like a reasonable reaction. Anyway, after the game Boone had this amazing quote: “Tell Jones I don’t care what he likes and I don’t care if he wants to hit me, hit me. I’ll flip it farther if he hits me again, I’ll go to first and if I hit another one, I’ll flip it farther. So don’t give me this Todd Jones, Mr. Tough Guy act. How about that?”

Tell him, Bret!

Boone’s affection for bat flipping is also a prime example of the stupidity of the unwritten rules. Boone was a third-generation Major League baseball player. His dad, Bob Boone, and grandfather, Ray Boone, played big league ball. So it’d be rather obtuse to accuse Bret for being ignorant of the unwritten rules or lacking respect for the game.

Screw the so-called unwritten rules. This is 2015 for God’s sake. Keep crushing homers and flipping those bats, kids. There’s nothing more fun than watching people get so worked up over something so trivial.

Posted by

A lucky man. Also a lawyer. Classic oxymoron.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s