Stop the Facebook Madness!

Public Service Announcement: Facebook is never going charge you to keep your information “private” and posting some random “legal” notice as your status means absolutely nothing.

If you have a Facebook account, I can guarantee you have seen the following status floating around the last day or two:

“now it’s official! It has been published in the media. Facebook has just released the entry price: $5.99 to keep the subscription of your status to be set to “private”. If you paste this message on your page, it will be offered free (paste not share) if not tomorrow, all your posts can become public. Even the messages that have been deleted or the photos not allowed. After all, it does not cost anything for a simple copy and paste”

You may have also seen this gem.

“As of September 28th , 2015 at 10:50 p.m. Eastern standard time, I do not give Facebook or any entities associated with Facebook permission to use my pictures, information, or posts, both past and future. By this statement, I give notice to Facebook it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, or take any other action against me based on this profile and/or its contents. The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308- 1 1 308-103 and the Rome Statute). NOTE: Facebook is now a public entity. All members must post a note like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement at least once it will be tactically allowing the use of your photos, as well as the information contained in the profile status updates.”

It is not physically possible for my eyes to be rolling further into the back of my head.

Please step back and take two seconds to think before slapping these ridiculous statements up onto your account for the world to see. First of all, Facebook, like all social media, is a an experiment in our self-centeredness (I just made up a word) because we are all so incredibly narcissistic enough to  believe there are more than 5 people who actually care about any of the information we post.

Second, if you post something on the World Wide Online Internet Web, you have expressly consented to make it public. Do you actually believe there is any information you have provided to any website that is actually private? If you do, you are incredibly naive, but that’s a subject for another day. Anyway, the entire purpose of Facebook is to help you share information with others, so if you don’t want Facebook to “disclose” or “distribute” this information, I have a simple solution for you….wait for it…..don’t post information you would rather keep “private” because Facebook is specifically designed to share the information that you decided was important enough to share in the first place!

Lastly, the UCC applies to contracts for sales of goods and other commercial transactions and has no applicability whatsoever to you posting a million pictures of your baby or the food you ate last night. The Rome Statute established the International Criminal Court and gave it jurisdiction to investigate four international crimes which are: genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes and the crime of aggression. Soooooo…..yeah.

I would argue that it is a crime against my humanity that I’ve had to read dozens of these statuses over the last few hours, but I don’t think that would quite make the ICC’s cut.

Okay. Rant over. I feel better. Carry on.

Posted by

A lucky man. Also a lawyer. Classic oxymoron.

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